My gosh this so called "blog" of mine has been officially abandoned! IT’S STILL OKAY =P hehe I am back now x) wow looking at my last entry it was about a year ago! Oh wells I might just make a habit of blogging here and at Ron’s =P

It’s been a while I managed to change my layout it gives me the creeps but I go lazy so DEAL WITH IT. I'll continue to fix this place when I am in more of a decorative mood =) I thought I’d freshen this place up! hehe boy I must admit it feels weird blogging here again I am so use to Ron’s html coding great to know I am back HOME again!

I absolutely abhor insensitive people. I am really starting to lose the placid side of my personality recently everything that occurs seems to make me angry and frustrated. I may as well be caught up in my teenage angst days. This is besides the point what causes me to blow the cap off my head is how people are so fucking insensitive. Really insensitive. I don't listening to your problems and expect me to be the nice girl who helps you resolve conflicts. BUT I DON'T FUCKING APPRECIATE IT when you give me shit. Okay maybe life's not always perfect, and your not either, but seriously I was willing share a portion of my life with you and all I get is 'mhmms' , 'yeah okay' , or a 'whatever'. Honestly pretend you care; you can't expect me to be the flawless girl with no problems in her life. YOU’RE NOT THE ONLY FUCKING PERSON IN THE WORLD! Maybe for once in your life think of others but I guess that’s asking too much from the opposite sex. You happen to be driven by your ego. Something I have noticed over the years come to think of I am going to hamper your ego so it becomes non-existent!

I am sick of your philosophical thoughts and directions in life, just because I don't agree DOES NOT mean I am some what unintelligent! I really despise how when someone shows some sort of disagreement to your ethics or morals you go and attack them with a god damm spear. Your not fucking mature you’re not even CLOSE. Stop thinking your all high and mighty. There’s a reason why people call you "COCKY" and I believe you are! If one person says that’s its debatable when more than 10 people say it then pretty obviously you have a problem that needs to be redirected. Now I am just contemplating whether I should throw our friendship into the nearest trash can! Honestly I am tired of dealing with your cockiness and your lack of sensitivity when it comes to my problems.

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I am re-assessing many aspects of my life, slowly refecting on what I think maybe good for me or not. I have found a few flaws and working to fix them it’s tiring but I WILL GET THERE. I can’t deny that there is still this miniature space stuck inside my heart with your name on it. No matter how many times I rub it out and replace it with something else I know I can’t. It’s getting harder and harder to avoid you. What frustrates me is that I can’t control what I feel towards you. I AM pushing you away for my own good.

12:25:00 PM

well since i have finally been able to get off my lazy fat ass to blog again. jees my entires are so irregular. anyways today i woke up early cos my whole freaking family was making such a racket. i'm one of them umm sleepers that need silence or i can't sleep.

i found out that we were going to this lil kids 5th birthday. his name is trung LOL. cute kid and all but a real pain. he cried over a freaking chair =.= i thought i made him cry cos i put some cream on his face. then found out it was cos of his chair --" god i hate kids. anyways it was a boring experience i was michelle working taht was pretty cool

i'm watching why why love its a sexy series sure has me HOOKED x) anyways did my english essay wanted to do some matsh hw but didn't get close enough to it cos cbbed. anyways yeah basically that my day. 8:34:00 PM

Well today happens to the start of a new month. jees time sure does fly. x) my life has been pretty good x) haha finally sorted for things out. sure i was intially a little annoyed but look at me now. all happy x)

I had the thought of leaving Leos maths class and he gave me this whole encouragement and indirectly telling me to say. haha so desperate. weird man he is anyways. yeah basically that was the events from yeserday x) lets go on to today =P

first period i had ENGLISH we had to write more answers to freaking Donnnie & Holden questions seriously i find no point in english no mroe its just bores me so unenthusiastic about my english work. we have a writing task due in tomorrow. i just finished mine quite proud of it too =P

Then we had a subject called SOCIETY & CULTURE which i plan on dropping as soon as yr 12 comes around. we watched a film on bali well continued on what we studied. Ms matthews is an okay teacher but i think its just a boring subject, despite the fact that i am doing so well =___________=;;

Third period was CHEMISTRY i thought i would be nice to my teacher and i actually understood things cos i actually put my heart into learning anyways i am becoming a nerd. no doubt on that =P yeah yvonne got told for disturbing me from my work haha.

Last period we had modern history seriously all i did was write notes and its so unfair how my teacher favours ellen over everyone else. i know my stuff and no one asks me for answers. i'll show her in my yerly exam blow her off her chair x) pwhahaha thinking about picking up ext. history because it seems pretty good :)

After school i went to stratty haha had to go atm to get some moolah =) anyways yeah went to buy a new lecture pad cos the one i have is running out cost me fkn $3.00 stupid newsagencies ripping me offf >=[ anyways yeah went back to station and realised i had to wait an agonising 20 mins b4 danny would come. so i sat on the platform in the company of natasha and we chatted until danny came and yeah she wnet to talk to come other guy. saw yuan aswell somewhere along the lines =P haha basically we trained it flemo and no i didn't 'Catch the pork roll' - its a joke for throse who heard me say it =P.

arrived at BUSINESS STUDIES ontime haha woot =) ohwells we did and extended report i was pretty bored and tired. since today had be awfully long and retartedly boring evn tho i was in the happiest mood until now. haha ohwells. This is about all i feel like talking about. toodles x] 9:17:00 PM

well i decided i'd blog again now that i am in the comfort of my own home haha. hmms so everyones been normal i hope i have heaps to say but dunnos if i should express it all out here anyways.

Two dresses beings able to pick one of the two dresses would be any girls best dream. haha two choices the spagettii dress and the normal strapless one. which to pick? hahaha they say once you pick you can't turn back. i guess its all the same. the spagettii dress which i oh so fondly like, yet my world came to a halt when i was told they didn't stock it in my size. i would have to settle for sumfink way to small. i guess thats how life is. it isn't so much of if you like it then you can have its. if they don't have it in your size and it doesn't fit whats the the point? sounds stupid heys? but hey i am a stupid girl. one who is stupid enough to actually believe i'd be able to squeeze and fit into sumfink that i can't own no matter how hard i try.

so the strapless dress is one which i fit into evn if i don't it can be adjusted to fit me. why don't i pick it? i don't evn know myself. expect i thought that the spaghetti dress was way prettier and better looking than the strapless one. despite the fact that one fits and the other doesn't. its no what i like anymore. its about what i will have to choose. doesn't seem to make any difference tho will it? its not like the spaghettii dress will eva come in my size. its stupid to still think maybe just maybe i'll be lucky and get it in the right size instead of settling for the straples one.

hmmms i guess the spaghetti dress is the one i am forced to give up. i hope i am smart enough to pull through with this decision. i honestly do hope that by choosing the strapless dress was worth it and maybe atleast it'll be able to know what i am worth. LOL sory for the confusing entry haha. i don't expect people to understand justa random entry x) 9:33:00 PM

This is so weird haha. i can't evn remember the last time i actually blogged here. well i finally managed to blog again i might make it something regular my life has been some hectic shit since i last blogged. anyways that is besides the point as many of you may have noticed my dear blog has had a layout change. i hope to get some comments from those who may be viewing this page. haha kindly comment evn if your some random. its all OKAY. x)



so far my day was been jolly fine. i've managed to attend pre uni from 9am to 12pm for english and maths x) so proud i learnt many new things today x] so now i am at my aunties house, i still happen to be sick. but my mood is still okay none the less =) i am AY- OKAY!!



random thoughts:

have you ever once thought that maybe what i said to you is actually for real? did you ever bother to stop and think that just maybe. MAYBE i have feelings for you? but then again what difference will it make its not like your gonna feel the same. so why bother telling you in the first place? i am so tired of making excuses up for you. so many times i thought wow. this is really it he likes me. yet you only manage to shatter my world in a matter of seconds. life's unfair and i guess it would have never worked for us. obviously people think you like me. it was stupid of me to actually fool myself into thinking that you do. but i was so wrong. it has finally gotten to the point where i see no point in me persuing anything, i have other people to choose from. better options, choosing someone who will actually cares for me is better than picking you cos all i knw is that you'll hurt me over and over again. i'm gonna break this cycle, hold my head up high and move on in life and i just hope you would leave me alone and stop making me fall back into a pit where i struggled so hard to get out of. i guess it means its all over. 6:44:00 PM

i've become some what i dunnos retarted recently. i am so fkn serious. i get pissed over nothing like right now i'm burning about how someone is being a mother fucking dickhead to me. honestly i never noticed why but recently i've been caring a lot shit happening around me. maybe i'm being being over reactive. my freaking addiction is comming back i'm fkn starting to crave like a bitch. haha funny natatsha says its cos i haven't drank alkiie since like uhh ... kylies b*day bbq i think mans i can't evn remember anything no more.

well my love life ceases to exist cos katrine has been a nerd for the past 2 wks studying for her exams and shit. far outs i feel like i am gonna do beserk if i don't get something. grrrr when did i become so dependant on it? anyways i didn't have school today so my mum took me shopping and i goy 3 new tops =) LOLS anways i wanted pants but my mum didn't let she was like you have too many ==;

anyways i don't have school tomorrow either haha lols gona watse my day away in the hopes thats i'll find sumfink constructive to do. freaking still craving for a lollypop gonna die from overdose on suagr =P haha ahwells latters x) 7:19:00 PM

i thought maybe i shoudl blog about the recent happennings of my week all in one go since i've been such and irregular blogger and gonna make this blog entry the longest i have eva written in my life =P ahwells here goes i shall starts from saturday.

SATURDAY
well it was stanly's drink up @ the city haha i think i went out earlier that day. to the temple to pay respect to my dead uncle which loves me so much when he was still alive ^^* anyways i got home and wanted to have a lil nap but realsied i had like 2 hrs until the outing so i spend my tym on msn. haha and slowly went to shower and got ready. at like around 1:30 i left the house to go out and catch a train to stratty. waited for wayne and irene they finally came and i was like YAY and we left to go city. we got to city and we trekked to market city for some odd reason i think oh yeah i was cold and wanted to buy myself a jacket or sumf shit like that so we did and met up with the others at redbox.

it was fun alotta alkiie and alotta singing and shit quite an intersting time i had i think atleast. kylie the bloody drunk was like crap. bloody rambling on abt fkn jack crap and litterally just being trashed. i was laughing and giggling like some school girl haha ahwells it was fun tym i did things i shouldn't have done. RED LABEL SUCKS. omg its probably worse than beer ==; i said i'd leave at freaking 8 i left like around 10 mans haha my rents didn't give a jack shit haha which was great.

SUNDAY
well i woke up feeling jolly tired couldn't sleep cos saturday make me so awake and i was worried about kylies where abouts cos she was off her face. anyways i got tired halfways thru the day and i went to have a nap. i woke up feeling like crap wanting to throw up during dinner and yeah huge cockaroach crisis i had freaking i just broke down crying after i killed one the BIGGEST cockaroaches i have eva seen in my life. quite scary. anways i refused to sleep incase anyything else bad happened. i eventually went to bed cos like i was pretty much forced cos i realised you stayed up for ME. maybe it justa misleading friendly thing i guess i dunnos.

MONDAY
today was a typical day at home i don't evn know what i did mans i remember i had mono at like 4:30 and that was about as far as my memory can take me T_______T"

TUESDAY
there was a last minute outing i was invited to so i decided maybe i should get off my fat ass and go out. so i did boy do i regret going. it was probably the shittiest freaking karoke outing i have eva been to in my life. kylie once again cried and i comforted her. it was pretty shit cos nothing happened like omg. wasted my day i could have more fun fkn reading froma textbook for gods sake.

WEDNESDAY
well today was a typical day at home until edwina called me out to the libary so i decided maybe i should go wit her it was actually quite fun =P haha we bummed around and crap. but realsied the libary was closed so we went stratty looked around and shit an dthen treckked back to flemo for mono.

THURDSDAY
well its mono excursion and apprently it was so gay i kinda went missing for like 3 hrs haha i trained it to city wit irene & geffory and like bummed around doing jack haha evetually we made it back and shit connie asked where i was i said i was around & about in the park =P HAHAHA. wit some invisble guys ^^* kylies gonna get busted for going easter show mans. everyone was hunting for her T_____________T"

FRIDAY
well being the ususal shit head i was mans i woke up around lunch tym haha decided to maybe get sumfink done so i started on my business study notes and some crap like that eventually got most of it done haha. anways yeah later today was danijels b*day party at her house i was sooo damm tired when i got there farks. it was pretty cool party i ate and lazed around left at fkn 11 cos my dad was so late in picking me up like i said TEN not ELEVEN

SATURDAY
HAHHAAHA kylies 16th bbq funniest shit mans i got myself all tipsy and shit makiing serious mistakes got told off by a ranger i legged it cos i looked like a drunk and melody spikes ppl drinks U________U" anyways. what else yeah after we left we went karoke in the city i got a few piggy backs here and there ^^* anyways it was a pretty fine day until i had like a huge migrane

SUNDAY
today i went easter show wit my mum and sibling it was kinda chat cos like yeh nothinsg fun when my mum is around =P anyways i kidna pulled thru my dad came and he let me go on the rides and shit it was overall great i guesss. dinner at dooleys i had a T-bone steak it was some yummy shits ^^*

12:21:00 PM

seriously i'm lost for words. emotions. you name it and i don't have it seriously today i just beel broken. i know i'm hiding from my problems its not like i have fucking choice anyways. why should i evn face it when i can't evn come to terms about how i feel? i'm so sick of your shit and getting crap from others its almost as if people are telling hoe to feel. i don't think i know myself anymore.

and why huh? it been a year why do you want to see me? its not like we can reconcile our feelings its all in the past. wat more do you want to say to me? the day you cheated you hurt me so? why all of a sudden change? do you want to explain what happened a year ago? i didn't give you the chance what makes you think i am going to forgive you or evn listen? this is so fkn gay. you know i HATE you for what you did to me. just seeing you againg i might aswell HATE myself for giving you a chance. why don't you just go back to canada and leave me alone? maybe just oneday when i'm in 50s i might forgiveyou. so just leave it whateva you have to say just forget it cos i am NOT going to see you. just forget it evn happened. 8:51:00 PM

Katrine Huynh
O9 / O9 / 199O
Year 12
Strathfield Girls High
cindiirella-rox@hotmail.com
virgo


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